Wonder

Do you ever wonder if what you could be doing now had you not missed that bus?
Do you ever wonder how things would be if you didn't fail that Biology exam?
Do you ever wonder that if you just pushed yourself hard enough you would've actually made it to the volleyball team?

There are so many things I wish I did.
So maany. You won't believe it.

Even comebacks that I wish I'd said to my bullies. Damn those are the tough ones. Thinking you could've said something but choosing to stay quiet.

Oh regrets. What an awful thing you are.

But then again, if you did those things, if they happened, would you be where you are now? Or would your life be completely different.

Yea, I thought so. It would be different.

This is why we should just be.

Be content with what we have right here right now.

You never know when you'll them. Material or not. As long as it's something of value to you, hold on to it.

You only get one shot at life. Unless you're really lucky then good for you.

Know that despite all the sadness you are feeling, there will always be happiness after.

I really and truly believe that Newton's third law is applicable with our emotions.

The law states that, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

This simply suggests that even though you are feeling the lowest of lows today, look forward to tomorrow and maybe it could be one of the happiest day of your life.

But then again, it could be the other way around, but meh. Just stay positive.

Happiness is a choice. Just like any other emotion, except for pain maybe. I don't think we can control feeling pain.

Nevertheless look forward to tomorrows. Some people don't get them and you are damn lucky if you do.

Always be thankful for what you have.
Because what you have now could only be someone else's dream.

Grab every opportunity because everything happens for a reason.

Yes, we don't know but thats why life is always so worth it. It's full of surprises.

And remember, "God only give his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers."

Everything will get better, you may not know when, but it will. Just have faith and courage.

Why?

Every night I lay in my bed, thinking, imagining ,planning. Sometimes I get excited and sometimes I get hella nervous.

Thinking about the future scares me so damn much. I don't know. I know I shouldn't worry because duh it's in the future, but can you blame me? The future is both exciting and scary. Because what you do NOW decides your future. What if I fail one of my subjects? Surely that will change my future. The effect may not be massive but, it is an effect.

They say, "The little things in life are infinitely the most important.", does that mean I have to rethink everything? But they also say, that you only have one chance to be as young as you are now so live life to the fullest, should I be reckless too?

These things are mostly the things I think about at night. Stressful huh? Im only 15 and I feel as though life is pushing me to the edge of the cliff. I refuse to be one of those teens who resort to self-harm (physical) to feel better. I know in myself that will never happen to me. That's cause I'm not selfish and I have a God. A God who is always there to listen.

How do I know He listens? I don't. But it's just nice to be able to let your feelings out. That's exactly why I started this blog. To let out my emotions. Sometimes I think I might burst.

Well back to what I was saying before, I don't want and can resort to self-harm. I read verses from the Bible everyday and it helps me realise just how special and lucky I am. I mean as generic as I feel most of the time, I am completely different. I have my own set of beliefs, features and attitude towards things.

I sometimes wonder how it's possible to not be the same as one person on this earth. But like they say, some questions are better unanswered.

I guess I should probably stop asking these questions huh? I don't think thats possible. Im human. I make mistakes and its in my nature to ask questions again and again. Curiosity is what makes us human. The eagerness to know more than we should.

And now, as I wait for my favourite show to come on, I think of what has happened today and ask myself, "Were you a nice human being today?"

Maybe you should ask yourself that too. :)