Sunsets

Staring at sunsets bring a certain emotion in me. They are so beautiful yet so sad. The mark of an ending. But then again, you think of the stars that come out at night and think that the darkness is worth it as long as I can look up and expect to see twinkling lights in the sky. The moment we look up, we see the past. And as I think about this, I feel sad again. The past. It's not worth getting sad over and I know it. But sometimes you just really cant help but feel this way. The past is where you did regretful things and how I wish I could change them. However, I wouldnt be who I am today had I not made those regretful things. For now, I do my best to see the best in things, the best in people. Everyone deserves the chance to be looked at as a goos person not because of the way he dresses, walks or talks but because he is a human being and he deserves a chance to prove himself right. Goodnight! :)

North West Island

It was at the end of Year 10 that I knew about the mandatory trip to North West Island (in my school, you have to go to the island to do 10hrs worth of field work). Mind you this was extremely terrifying for me. I have never been away from home for more than a night, let alone a week. A WEEK. But I didn't have a choice. I had to do Biology as it is a prerequisite for my chosen degree in Uni. 

However, Year 10 went and came Year 11. Year 11 is a whole new experience. This year, I gained two new friends. Steph and Eva. Steph is really cheerful and everyone seemed to love her at camp. Her and her (annoying) banana song. Eva was the same but different. You see, Eva was an exchange student from Germany. She stayed here in Australia for 6 months. 6 short months. 

Anywaaays, let's get back to my story. The notes for the trip were handed out 2 months before the set date to leave. The list was LONG. But looking at it now, it really isn't a lot. Me and my bestie Kirsty, decided that we would tent together. DUH. I had the tent ready and everything, then Eva came along and voila we got the 'Taj Mahal' tent! 4 people staying in a 10-man tent, we were lucky.

The preparations happened, and before I knew it 2 months had gone by and it was time to leave. Ugh the leaving part was awkward, mum was hanging around and just wouldn't leave but I guess I really don't mind. 

The journey to the island was the worst. The waves were very high. It was cold and it was just plain uncomfortable. I thought I was fortunate that I slept through it all, but as soon as I woke up, nausea hit me and puked. Great, just as soon as we get there I puke. To make things worse, we had to get the other school's stuff in to the barge and our stuff out. And if things couldn't get any worse, we had to sleep on the beach. Literally 20m from the shore. Already this was looking bad. Then I remembered what my very wise  Biology teacher said that this will only turn out good if I had a positive mindset. Of course he was right. 

 For the rest of the week everything was great, although at nights and early morning there was the occasional rain. It's not easy not having your food prepared to you. You need to estimate cooking time and time needed to prepare for it. I remember complaining so much for the first two days about how shit living there would be. I almost feel guilty for saying considering I want to go back again. 


















Living at North West for a week taught me alot of things. That you need to be prepared for what may happen in life. That you need to be responsible for your own priorities. That you will definitely need to adjust to the attitudes of the people you are surrounded. There were only 29 of us but that is enough to cause problems within certain groups.

We saw millions of sea cucumbers, sooo many mutton birds (not that we liked them, look them up they are notorious!), various different kinds of birds, stingrays, different kind of fishes, and the baby turtles which we watched go to the sea as they just hatched. These creatures are so precious. 

The trip also taught me about the importance of not wasting water. The island had no potable water source so we had to rely on the water that we brought with us and we were warned not to use much. This was a challenge, but in the end we were allowed to use as much water as we wanted. 

I also got to experience SNORKELLING IN THE GREAT BARRIER REEF! That will definitely be one of the greatest things Ive done. Granted I didnt stay for very long, I still did it. It was amazing. Seeing all those fish in their natural habitat and watching them move was very fascinating. 

At first, I DID NOT look forward to this trip, however a week later I could not bear to leave it. It was nice to get away from everything for a week. It was nice to get away from technology, the homework, the assignments and the endless problems. It was truly an unexpectedly amazing trip. 

Oh and before I say goodbye, I will leave you with a picture my teacher took of the night sky at North West. There, you are able to see the Milky Way Galaxy. You can only see it if you are very far from the city lights and this is what I love the most about the trip. Being able to just go to the beach at night and stare at the starry starry sky. It was a privilege to have stayed at North West. I will never forget my time there. 

Wonder

Do you ever wonder if what you could be doing now had you not missed that bus?
Do you ever wonder how things would be if you didn't fail that Biology exam?
Do you ever wonder that if you just pushed yourself hard enough you would've actually made it to the volleyball team?

There are so many things I wish I did.
So maany. You won't believe it.

Even comebacks that I wish I'd said to my bullies. Damn those are the tough ones. Thinking you could've said something but choosing to stay quiet.

Oh regrets. What an awful thing you are.

But then again, if you did those things, if they happened, would you be where you are now? Or would your life be completely different.

Yea, I thought so. It would be different.

This is why we should just be.

Be content with what we have right here right now.

You never know when you'll them. Material or not. As long as it's something of value to you, hold on to it.

You only get one shot at life. Unless you're really lucky then good for you.

Know that despite all the sadness you are feeling, there will always be happiness after.

I really and truly believe that Newton's third law is applicable with our emotions.

The law states that, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

This simply suggests that even though you are feeling the lowest of lows today, look forward to tomorrow and maybe it could be one of the happiest day of your life.

But then again, it could be the other way around, but meh. Just stay positive.

Happiness is a choice. Just like any other emotion, except for pain maybe. I don't think we can control feeling pain.

Nevertheless look forward to tomorrows. Some people don't get them and you are damn lucky if you do.

Always be thankful for what you have.
Because what you have now could only be someone else's dream.

Grab every opportunity because everything happens for a reason.

Yes, we don't know but thats why life is always so worth it. It's full of surprises.

And remember, "God only give his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers."

Everything will get better, you may not know when, but it will. Just have faith and courage.

Why?

Every night I lay in my bed, thinking, imagining ,planning. Sometimes I get excited and sometimes I get hella nervous.

Thinking about the future scares me so damn much. I don't know. I know I shouldn't worry because duh it's in the future, but can you blame me? The future is both exciting and scary. Because what you do NOW decides your future. What if I fail one of my subjects? Surely that will change my future. The effect may not be massive but, it is an effect.

They say, "The little things in life are infinitely the most important.", does that mean I have to rethink everything? But they also say, that you only have one chance to be as young as you are now so live life to the fullest, should I be reckless too?

These things are mostly the things I think about at night. Stressful huh? Im only 15 and I feel as though life is pushing me to the edge of the cliff. I refuse to be one of those teens who resort to self-harm (physical) to feel better. I know in myself that will never happen to me. That's cause I'm not selfish and I have a God. A God who is always there to listen.

How do I know He listens? I don't. But it's just nice to be able to let your feelings out. That's exactly why I started this blog. To let out my emotions. Sometimes I think I might burst.

Well back to what I was saying before, I don't want and can resort to self-harm. I read verses from the Bible everyday and it helps me realise just how special and lucky I am. I mean as generic as I feel most of the time, I am completely different. I have my own set of beliefs, features and attitude towards things.

I sometimes wonder how it's possible to not be the same as one person on this earth. But like they say, some questions are better unanswered.

I guess I should probably stop asking these questions huh? I don't think thats possible. Im human. I make mistakes and its in my nature to ask questions again and again. Curiosity is what makes us human. The eagerness to know more than we should.

And now, as I wait for my favourite show to come on, I think of what has happened today and ask myself, "Were you a nice human being today?"

Maybe you should ask yourself that too. :)